Folks, as foodies we generally feel a strong sense of responsibility to eat at great places that will be worth your dough and tell you about them.  It’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it.  The other day we completely ignored that feeling and walked into Bubba Gump Shrimp Company.  It’s a real place, built around a fake person in a made up story.  A theme restaurant, if you will, in Beautiful… Long Beach, CA.

Now, we also promised ourselves we would eat at theme restaurants. I can honestly and proudly say that I never ate at Planet Hollywood. But like most of you I kinda liked Forrest Gump, and I was curious about how much of the menu would be deep fried.

Ever wonder where all your garage sale junk winds up?  Right here, and Applebees, and TGI Fridays mostly…  Or there’s a special airport sized members only store that specifically deals in silly wall garbage: license plates that have been coughed up by sharks, broken bicycle bits and signed posters of the actors from bosom buddies…  you know, worthless garbage.

Their drink menu is attached to a ping pong paddle, very fitting, which is chained to the wall.  I guess people took to stealing the worthless garbage.  Their frosty alcoholic girl drinks were actually quite good and some of them even had a little booze in them.

After ordering several platters of deep fried things with fries and hush puppies, we required some jumbo shrimp cocktail, which is one of my personal favorites.  Not because it’s hard to make or requires any skill, but because it requires really good fresh shrimp. Or you’d know it, and it’d be gross.  These were big, healthy and meaty.  Of course there’s no way of knowing whether or not they got the rest of our order right because deep fried balls tend to all look the same.  They tasted pretty good though.  No fancy sauces here, just ketchup and tartar sauce; exactly how Forrest would have preferred it, since simple people like simple food.

The desserts are normal, meaning huge and containing several days’ worth of calories, but we figured we had exhausted a week’s allowance of sodium intake so why not go full tilt.  After all that’s the American way:  Overdo it and then regret it.

It’s pretty relaxing to eat in a place decorated in slow 5^th grader.  The servers are nice, the food is crispy, and they give you a Forrest Gump movie quiz.  It’s a good thing I knew all that stuff cuz the prize was… more napkins.  I used them all so as not to be wasteful.  You can sit around, inhaling the nice heavy seagull scented air right on the marina, talking about (what else?) the movie that the world won’t let us forget, much as we may want to.  Does Tom Hanks have a share in this place?  No he does not.  I think he wants to forget that film about as much as Tim Curry wants to forget the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Bad movie, great legs for a guy.  Wish I could say the same for Hanks.  You can’t really talk about anything else while you’re there, cuz even the table is covered with memorable movie lines, along with some ones that have become Americana.

Eating at Gump’s namesake restaurant was certainly better than being shot in the buttocks, and that’s all I got to say about that.